A year of change

One year ago today, we learned we were pregnant. It was a very memorable occasion given all that had happened to us.

It actually wasn't the first time we discovered we were pregnant. No, I only have one child. You see, we miscarried in January 2007. We learned this at our 9 week appointment, the first doctor visit for us. We had been so excited over the holidays. We'd kept it quiet and just enjoyed the secret knowledge that we were going to have a baby. Only those that really knew us were in on it as they noticed the change in my habits. The night before our 9 week appointment, I felt a huge flutter. Not knowing anything, I was so excited. The baby moved! All that excitement came to a crashing end the next morning when there was no heartbeat during the first ultrasound. After much reflection and discussion with our fabulous doctor over the next couple weeks, we determined that I had felt the seizure that lead to the baby's death that fateful night. There was no necrosis of the fetus on that first ultrasound. The baby looked perfect, just no movement and no heartbeat. We learned what necrosis meant over the next couple weeks as my body didn't reset still thinking I was pregnant. It is heartbreaking to see what at first had been a perfect fetus slowly wither away. The news was devastating and even worse was the waiting. We knew the baby was gone but we still hadn't actually miscarried yet. It took weeks and 2 D&Cs to actually get everything back to normal. In the meantime, I mourned.

Those closest to me realized I was desperately fighting a losing battle with a major depressive episode. My mother, her friend and my husband conspired together and decided I needed a change of scenery. It was off to the big island of Hawai'i for us and 2 blissful weeks of not thinking about anything but our whims and wishes. We went hiking, geocaching, snorkeling, scuba diving and ate wonderful fresh seafood. Somewhere in the middle of the trip I began to feel a bit funny but I waved it off. After all, we were in paradise! The night we were scheduled to fly home, I ordered a sumptuous lobster meal that I don't normally get and practically turned green when the plate hit the table. I couldn't eat it. My husband and I winked at each other simultaneously as he took care of my dinner as well. Thoughts were racing . . . were we pregnant again?

After an all night flight home, we didn't hesitate in heading for the store and a home pregnancy kit. Yep, that was one year ago today. A lot has happened since then: pregnancy complications in the form of gestational diabetes, birth and the subsequent wonderful months of raising our son.

What a wonderful year it has been.

Switching Sides

Depending on where your mind is that title could have all sorts of interesting connotations. However, I'm looking at one in particular: changing the hand you brush your teeth with. If you're like most people you brush with your dominant hand. If you believe population genetics, that's about 95% of us brushing right handed and 5% left handed.

Per a comment I read excerpted from a book I haven't read yet, the theory is that if you exercise your brain in some simple ways it leads to more production of neurotrophins that help fight off the effect of mental aging. Don't believe me? Here's a link to Laurence C. Katz, Ph.D. and Manning Rubin's site, and book, Keep Your Brain Alive. The concept is simple, do thing a little differently than you usually do and you exercise your brain. A simple example is brushing your teeth opposite handed, (there are more, go check them out.)

I tried brushing with my non-dominant hand last night. If you haven't done this before and are not somewhat ambidextrous from some other cause (breaking a dominant hand or arm one or more times during your formative years,) this is HARD. Doing it normally, you go in, don't even think about it and viola, 2-3 minutes later you're off to do something else. Getting your teeth clean if you use the other hand takes longer . . . I'm picky about my teeth. I brush the recommended 2 minutes every time being sure to balance the areas covered. If I find a spot I missed marked by distinct texture where there should be smooth enamel, I go back and take care of it right then. Doing this process entirely with the opposite hand (and no, I didn't cheat at all, thank you,) takes time. About 15 minutes in my case.

It is just one of those things that make you go, "Hmm," as you go about your daily routine. If it means a healthier brain down the road, I'll try it. It's time to go find a copy of that book and do some more investigation.

Little things that count

I'm going to say something that may sound rather odd to most folks. Last Friday night, I was thankful that my husband still smoked. You see there is a reason I make this statement. One of our neighbors has outdoor cats. Not something I would do in this climate as we can have rather harsh winters. We also seem to be in a string of hard weather winters around here as well. Then again, these are not my cats.

Recently, the neighbor went out of town. They provided food and water. However I don't believe they provided enough food and water. Granted, the animals are not skeletal nor are they normally ill-cared-for. But in this case, one of the kitties made its way across the street to socialize with my hubby. Hubby is a kitty friendly guy. Cats of all shapes and sizes love him. He came back inside from his smoke and mentioned that he thought the neighbor's cat was hungry.

After talking about it a bit we put out some food for the cat. See, we recently lost a cat (she was 17) and we still have some left over cat food that I haven't made myself throw out yet. Normally I choose not to interfere. In this case, I will NOT let something suffer when it's obvious that the critter is hungry and no one is home to feed it. The cat ate every bite we put out.

These people are not cruel. I think they just don't quite understand the volume of food required by their pets when they leave for extended time periods. I heard that this isn't the first time that hubby has intervened. They were away at the Christmas Holiday as well and underestimated the food requirement. The sad part of that was he encountered another neighbor doing the same thing as they had also noticed the hungry kitties.

Sometimes you just need to do something a little nice for someone. Next time I see them, I'll mention that they need to up the volume of nutritional supplements they leave out for their animals when they're gone.

End of an era

As if everyone else in the world was not talking about it, not grieving over it . . . Arthur C. Clarke has passed away at 90. Over 100 books written. 2001 and 2010 made into movies. It truly is the end of an era of Science Fiction. He will be missed.

4 Months and counting

Yesterday my son was 4 calendar months old. Time really does fly when you have a little one. And one day you look and the little one isn't all that little any more. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. The alternative is much worse. However, my little guy is growing. So it's time to reflect on just how precious every moment is. And secondly, it's time to make an appointment with a photographer who can immortalize these days forever with a much better artistry than I can.

I am off to contemplate how lucky I am for these last 4 months.

Fieldtrips

My hubby and I have a pretty unique situation when it comes to the daily care of our son: both of us work out of the house. I've said to many a friend and colleague that I wouldn't have borne a child if I couldn't spend time raising said child. That is still true. However on days like today, I cannot help but feel like I've missed something.

Today was one of the days that Hubby had primary care duties. He still had a client he had to visit. But this client was friendly to bringing the little Frog Prince along for the appointment. Apparently the Frog Prince was the hit of the day. This in itself is not surprising. (No, I'm not at all biased.)

What is surprising is that I now feel like I've missed something important. Not that anything unique happened today while the two of them were out on their adventure. I strongly feel that a first visit to the hardware store is truly a male-bonding experience. I guess I just cannot adequately express how much I missed them both today.

At least tomorrow's fieldtrip includes me. That is something to look forward to.

Rabid Parents

There are many opinions in the world. And there are many parents who are rational and sane most of the time. Until . . . someone criticizes their children or parenting styles. Then the gloves come off.

Every parent needs to do what they think is right for their child. Every child is different and may have different needs. I do not presume to know anyone else's situation with their child. I only know my own. I read . . . a lot. There are many parenting sites, articles and blogs for anyone to peruse at any given time.

Where the conflict comes in is when someone states something emphatically: do this for your child, don't do that for your child, to spank or not to spank, home school or not, medicate or not, discipline or not. Get a grip folks. What's right for your family and child may not be right for someone else's family or child. I see this daily where a comment on a blog or even just a comment on a blog will spark a rabid attack. No holds barred. Then people start taking sides and it's an all out war.

Few things can really push our buttons like opinions on raising children. I just hope I remember that as I continue my journey through raising our son. And you know what . . . I'm not telling you how to raise your kid either.